You walk into a young couple's house and your breath is taken away by the striking visual of showcase rooms, stuffed full with expensive eye-furniture. In a few minutes their Jaguar will race them away to a 5-star restaurant where fresh lobster will load their plates and aged wine will go down smooth.You will not be able to hear anything, however, in this fantasy. And so you will not hear the arguing in the car or the tense silence over dinner, all caused by maxed-out credit cards, deep debt, and a scrambled budget. Across the room, however, sits a smiling and laughing couple. Looking from the outside in, they are modest at best, and might even seem to be struggling financially. But once again, you hear nothing. You don't hear her giggles, or his excited plans on how they will purchase their new home in just a few more disciplined years. They don't live a celebrity lifestyle, but they have an emergency fund with margine, no debt, and no payments. They have peace.
What's the main difference between these two couples? The main difference is between looking good versus being good.
A religious scribe is loud and verbose with his prayers on the sidewalk. He has the meticulous details of each law down to a science and he can recite them verbatim. But Jesus says he is like a beautiful tomb that inside holds only death and decay. Near the lake strolls an uneducated fisherman with a sketchy past. The spiritual leaders of his day critique him with crossed arms and verbally assault his teacher. But the Son of Man has personally hand-picked him, performed surgery on his heart and perspective, and sealed His power and grace over the man's life.
What's the difference between this fisherman and the scribe? Many things, but once again... the difference between looking good versus being good.
John Bevere says that we all have three selves: our projected self, our perceived self, and our actual self. That is, the person other people think we are, the person we think we are, and the person God knows we are. And a lot of times, out of the fear of man, hypocrisy, and self-deception, there is a wide gap between what we portray and what we actually are. Dr. Henry Cloud says that the closing of that gap is what we call "integrity."
But instead of focusing on outright hypocrisy, I simply want to issue the exciting challenge of living deep and authentic lives. Lives that speak louder than our words do. Having money instead of looking like money. Being truly intimate with God instead of the exhausting work of keeping up appearances. Having vulnerable and real friendships instead of flattering and superficial acuaintances. Having deeply rooted values and goals that are proactively being exercised and lived out instead of just talked about.
Bob Goff, who just recently wrote his first book, is one of the memorable characters in Donald Miller's memoirs. One day he inspired Donald Miller by simply urging him to be "secretly incredible."
As a passionate person who admittedly has a tendency to over-declare, I am drawn to that challenge. How about you? Let's do it. When the choice is before us to look good or be good, let's choose the latter. Let's be "secretly incredible."
