There are many days we look forward to in life. There are momentous days we dream of such as our wedding day, graduation, or the purchase of a house. And then there are the smaller days we mark on our calendars as upcoming events of expectation - parties, vacations, and holiday gatherings. Without a doubt much preoccupation is given to much trivia - stress and emotional charge about a football game, what outfit to wear to an office party, and the release of a new movie in the cinema. To be honest, there are some events we hold our breath for that are absolutely meaningless. And yet, tragically, the one moment that matters the most is the event most of us give the least time and preparation for - the moment we stand before God.
We are told in no uncertain terms that "it is appointed unto man once to die, and after that the judgment," and yet most of us live either as if we are the only generation immune from the Adamic curse of mortality, or as if this life is all there is. But one thing is for sure - one day we will see our Maker. We will give an account. And we will either be invited in to unspeakable glory or banished to unthinkable torment. That is the testimony and truth of Scripture. And yet, even as a born-again believer, I think the day I see Him will be the greatest day of mixed emotions that I have ever experienced.
Without a doubt, that day will be a day of indescribable AWE. My whole life I have looked achingly upon sunset-painted mountaintops. I have trembled before the Grand Canyon. Laid on my back and lost myself beneath a shimmering quilt of stars. And yet to think these are all simply creations that declare the glory of the Creator. "The heavens cannot even contain Him," so it is scarcely imaginable that my eyes could. What will happen to me when I look upon Him for the first time? It strains my imagination to even dream of His splendor. His glory. I think of times I have nearly melted inside at the sight of a beautiful girl, and yet she is only broken clay made in the image of the Altogether Lovely. "No one can look on My Face and live" and even with a glorified body, one would think it unbearably taxing on our hearts to approach the throne, from which emanates lightnings and peals of thunder, a throne surrounded by myriads of angels forever enraptured by His majesty, and a throne encompassed by martyrs, prophets, apostles, tribes upon tribes, and twenty-four elders casting their crowns, and then to look up into that unapproachable light and gaze upon the Eternal King. All of this of course to take place in an eternal city with holy air and golden streets and creatures and colors and shapes that go beyond human comprehension. "No eye has seen, nor ear has heard, nor entered into the mind of man what God has prepared for those who love Him," wrote the Apostle Paul after his celestial visit, and to borrow the words from that semi-cheesy but beautiful Christian chorus, "I can only imagine…"
That awesome day for the true child of God will definitely be a day of LOVE. I have read many stories of supposed after-death experiences and trips to eternity, some credible and some not so credible. And while I do my best to retain a healthy level of skepticism on such rampant reports, I have been strangely warmed by the depictions of the depths of love that they have insisted fill God's paradise. An atmosphere charged with holy, selfless Agape and expressions and countenances of kindness that have never been seen on earth. "God is love" is a fact clearly stated in scriptures, and though I have repeatedly been filled with the love of God, shed abroad by the Holy Spirit in my heart, on that day I will behold unhindered the very Essence of love. And in that moment, everything I've experienced will pale in comparison. I meditate on transcendent moments of bliss in God's Presence here on earth. I reminisce on rapturous scenes of romance that made time stand still. I grin joyously at the brotherly and sisterly kindness and companionship I have found on this planet. And I wince almost painfully at the undeserved and unconditional love that has been shown to me by my parents. And yet all of those imperfect forms of love combined multiplicably will not scratch the surface of what will overwhelm my soul in the Presence of my Heavenly Father. Paul says that even the mysterious and undying love between a husband and wife is merely a representation of the love Christ has for us, His church. I can't wait to hear the fatherliness in His voice. To weep at the depths of His mercy and compassion. To feel alive in His fiery love. To be made whole by His gentle and reassuring smile. Mankind has many cheap and even distorted views of love to where the word has been all but completely lost on us. But I think on that day, that word will become pregnant with eternal significance.
Unfortunately, I believe the day we see Him will also be a day surely marked with SHAME for most of us. In Corinthians, Paul referred to eternal judgments as one of the "elementary principles" along with baptism and the laying on of hands. And yet fearfully little thought is given to the sobering fact that we will stand before Him to answer for our life. Paul urges us to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling" and in another place said "knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men…" Most of the time in Scripture when the biblical writers referred to the day of the Lord they entitled it the "terrible" day of the Lord. Even as believers, though the penalty of our sin was dealt with on the Cross, we will stand before the Bema Seat of Christ and "give an account of the deeds done in the body, whether good or bad." And many of us will suffer loss. In the third chapter of 1st Corinthians we are told that "If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test each person's work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved - even only as one escaping through the flames." As John Bevere once put it, "what we do with the Cross will determine where we spend eternity, but the way we live our lives as believers will determine how we spend our eternity." "He who has been faithful over much…" Oh, the horror to think of my irresponsible tongue and to think I will give an account of every word spoken. To think back on every time I grieved the Spirit, everything I spent prodigally on myself, every time I wish I would have been more merciful, every sinful mistake, all my prayerlessness and shallowness and selfish living. All the people I could have reached for God. The fact that I stored up far more treasures on earth than in heaven. A.W. Tozer once lamented to Leonard Ravenhill that he thinks "we will barely get our feet into eternity before we bow our heads in shame and humiliation and say my God! All the riches there were in Christ and I've come to the Judgment Seat nearly a pauper." On that day we will realize how earth-bound some of us - especially in modern comfortable America - really were, and we will wish we would've cried out like that old revivalist, "God, stamp eternity on my eyeballs!" And to think that the quality of our work will be tested. That's right, not the quantity, but the quality. Not how religious or ambitious, but my motive for why I did it and how passionately did I do it. On that day, there will be no caring friend to pat me on the back and tell me how spiritual I am, no encouraging church member to reassure me how good a preacher I was. But Him with eyes aflame with fire will look straight through my soul and see me for what I am, with every secret thought and intention laid bare before the Righteous Judge with whom there is no shadow or variation of turning. He surely "shall wipe every tear from our eyes," but I don't think those tears will be from the residue of earthly pain, but rather the godly remorse of wasteful living that is now excruciatingly revealed.
I know little of what that day will look like, but I do believe there will be strong mixed emotions. Along with awe, love, and shame will surely be joy and fear. "Joy unspeakable in the Holy Ghost" will be joy unimaginable in His Presence. Joy coupled with a surreal peace that we did not know existed. Peace as a result of no more devil, no more sin, no more death, and no more problems. And the tangible, supernatural peace that naturally flows from the River of Life, the very One who is the "Prince of Peace." And fear - not carnal or earthly fear, but surely in those first few moments at least there will be a holy and dreadful reverence at the unveiled revelation of His majesty and power and sovereignty. I cringe at the carnal familiarity with which some people talk about Jesus as if they are going to walk up to Him in heaven and pat Him on the back and say "thanks for dying for me, buddy." Paul said that "we no longer regard Jesus in the flesh" and we must remember that the same beloved John who leaned his head comfortably against the breast of Jesus fell on His face as though dead when he saw the glorious and resurrected Christ.
Without a doubt, that will be a terrible day for every unregenerate soul and an awesome and surely emotional day for every true believer. We don't think much of eternity like our spiritual fathers did. But we should. I read recently of a faithful Christian that decided to take off six months from work and ministry. Why? He said he wanted to search his heart and prepare himself for the Judgment Seat while he still had time. Sounds pretty extreme, doesn't it? But eternity's a long time. This life is a vapor. In fact, in mathematical terms where anything divided by infinity equals zero, this life is almost literally nothing compared to the billions and billions of infinite ages we will spend in one of two places. May the true children of God be encouraged and filled with joy and strength as they meditate on their eternal home, their "city whose foundation and builder is God," where our great Lord "has gone to prepare a place," and where "the things of this world will grow strangely dim." I can only imagine what I will feel the day I see Him. I am so excited to think about it. But I am also soberly challenged to "make the crooked paths straight" and search and examine my heart and correct my life so that when He comes, as James says, I "shall not be ashamed at His appearing."
"Oh, those Olympians, how majestic they are - but only for a moment! From a young age, they train hours and hours everyday. All they ever do is train. Until the age of twenty-two and then they run a nine second race for a medal they hang up, and that's it! Can not we give equal for eternal things?" - Paul Washer
"Peace is pouring over my soul. I see the lamb and the lion playing. I join in and I drink the music. Holiness is the air I'm breathing. And my faithful heroes break the bread and answer all of my questions. Not to mention what the streets are made of. My heart's held hostage by this love and these brilliant colors I have never seen. I join a billion people for a wedding feast. And I reach out and touch the face of the One who made me. All the love I feel and all the peace…" - Deep Enough to Dream (Chris Rice)